Finally Here

I have been at my school for a month or so and I am happier than I was with my dad. To me I get to interact with others, but attending classes are really different. I see my teacher and usually will be earlier than when my actual class starts, but it is not bad. I get to do other work in class. I have to set a budget, but that is hard since I am a person who does not eat meat. I have adjusted to being an active gamer and doing school work. Since salons are a lot of money I tend to try my hand at doing my own hair, but since I was not taught how to straighten my hair it is not an easy task. I am have an assignment that I have to get back too, so peace.

Yeah

So, I will return next week wait for it or I might put one up on monday. What I mean is the week after next week not actually next week.

Near

This week is the week I may leave this place I call my dad's house. I am happy to leave because I have not been happy since I got here. I find myself having thoughts of hurting him. What you thought I would say hurt myself. Why hurt myself when I can hurt the person who is hurting me. No, I do not root for the villains in hero movies. I do root for the murders in the horror films, but that is only because it is a murder film. If I am lucky I can find a roommate by today I guess on. Thursday is my last day so if I can't find a place I will probably just run away. Now running away solves lots of problems so do not say it doesn't. I will start being happy hopefully and not have to be here. I put up an early post this week because well I have no idea if I can put one up later this week. I will keep you posted next week if I can. I feel like I should explain the rooting for murders thing, but I won't because no one is asking for it.

Sleep

As kids we all with for that one day that we can sleep the whole day away. Forget our troubles and just stay asleep for a whole day. You wonder if you would feel better in the morning or feel ageless. That is not the truth, well a little bit. You feel energized when you wake up and do not feel like you need to sleep. But, when you get up it hits you on what you did. You did not move a muscle the whole day so your relaxed body feels relaxed. You get up and you can barely move your legs and it is hard to walk. Since I already felt like this before I know the feeling and I know how to move even when it feels like I may fall. I do not know what happened the other day and I do not know if I existed for a day. A whole day was away from it. I missed a whole day of doing other stuff like reading manga and washing clothes, manga is more important. This dream of mine was small and insignificant because I did not remember falling asleep. There was no dreams just darkness that I did not remember. I wish I remember it and I also realized that the ads battery sucked. I was hungry and all the liquid in my body released once I used the bathroom. Would I take half a day yes, but not a whole day. I also realized I wasn't missed and my dad didn't even check up on me. I need to leave especially after he exploded on me today I need to leave soon because his annoyance has reached its peak. I may actually tell him how I feel and it will not be pretty.

Falling Behind

As humans we take up new things and forgot or delay the old things. Picking up this job has made me  delay my work and get lesser grades. It is not good at all because I am still in college. I procrastinate more because I focus all my energy on work than on anything else. I preserve energy more than having a days worth of it. I find it hard to use up one and not feel tired for many days. I have not worked since monday and I am still tired. I find myself not caring about leaving things behind to move forward, but that would not be smart. I need to take some of it along and abandon some so I can  become a little bit lighter. I will try to move toward my studies today, but who knows what will happen. I just hope that I will not fail or else life will move a little bit slower.

2 weeks of pain

For the past two weeks I have been trying to finish a story, but have yet to finish it. I have been cut from my hours of work and been slacking on my school. While I have backstabbed someone to make me happy in the future. I have caught a cold that won't go away and gotten an injury on my leg. Even paying for internet so I can just leave in a month peacefully. I felt that my life was not as hard as I thought and got pain in return. I have no idea what to do because I am not healing. At this point I am just waiting to heal and waiting for other things to come. I fear life as I know it will crumble right in front of me. It has yet to start, but I cannot change what I have started. I took two weeks off from myself and all I did was hurt myself. I can only continue to write that story of mines because that is what gives me hope, I do not want to be sick anymore or injured to the point I feel weak. I want to be able to eat whenever I want without worrying if I will have enough for next week. All it is, is a plan in motion just waiting to happen. The 5 seconds before the storm when you can get things done. I do not hope to smile after all of this I just hope to enjoy what I am doing, while feeling less pain than I am now.

Stories

I will start putting up stories since it is easier than just writing about my simple matters. Hope you will enjoy them when they come out.

Headaches

Headaches are usually the worst thing you can get because they come at random times. In manga or anime it is usually the worst for any character. I occasionally get headaches and I would rather not have them. It never really goes away and it does when I et use to the pain of it. Looking at the stars and hope that your vision will not get blurry. That if your life was to end now you would not gel so bad. Hoping that you are not the only one feeling this pain and you can transfer it to someone else. It would be easier to just transfer your pain and go on with your life. You feel a little bit of pain and if you are evil you transfer it to Bob. I have thought that many times when I thought that I was losing my vision, but it was just a really bad headache. Headaches are the illness of the old that mad us think of gods and legends so that we can blame the pain on something else. If I am wrong then I am, but I just want this headache to disappear.

The chaotic overwork.

In manga we see characters fall straight to sleep after they go to sleep. I have done that when I was working, but it was a long second nap. Work drains you fully because you exert your muscles and not your mind. You are bored, but have to do this task to get paid. People who have worked for years hate when new comers complain about balancing school with work. It is not the easiest thing to balance when you have one where you will need a job to pay back your loans and the other could make your dreams come true when you complete it. You can switch up either selection and you would be right 50% of the time. Reason I need a job is so I can leave the place I do not want to be and go on campus to the place I want to be. Sadly I am still in the same place and it seems that nothing has changed. I want to leave and I shall if I could. It is not like you can get help randomly from one person. I just need money for an apartment near campus and I could be on campus. Talking to live people in my field, but I will have to wait for that it seems. I worked two days until I found a way to tackle my tiredness. That was just listening to music and I guess it is because music energizes people. It does not get rid of any of our tiredness, but it makes us believe that a little of it has gone away. It helped me out, but not as much as the nap I took in the break room helped me. Doing stock is already a back breaking job, but I am doing it and only for the sake of leaving this place and meeting new people. If you got a dream at least believe you can do it in a small part of your mind.

Stocker

I recently have been hired as a stocker and like in manga it is usually shown as an easy or backbreaking task. It is not that much work, but it does take a lot to put it in the right place. Tonight I will take the overnight shift. That means that I will have to work at ten tonight till seven in the morning. It is hard to know how I will fare when I work tonight since it is my first time doing nights. I need the money so I have to work, but I hope it will be better for me. In getting a job I cannot watch the shows that I want to watch because it takes too much time to watch it. I just have school and work, but since I have nights I can do my work. I would have to take naps before work, but it is not so bad is what I would like to say.  I have, yet to do it since I will start to work in three hours and it will be a long ten hours when I work. Now I sit behind a computer and hope that I will be able to do my school work and be able to pass without work excuses. Well till next time who ever is reading this and sorry this did not help any one because I just wanted to vent in some sort of way.

Big messes

In manga we may see a character spill coffee or water on their laptop or desktop and have everything ruined. The other day I spilt water all over my laptop and I thought it was the end I had to think calmly. I cleared all the water on my laptop and then I made sure every thing worked. Things were not working perfectly fine, so I shock the laptop to check if there was anything inside and I got nothing. So I closed the laptop and shock it a lot and when I opened it I found water on the keys and the screen, so I wiped it off. I then checked again to see if everything was fine, but it was not yet a 100 percent, so I shut it off and turned it back on. Everything ran fine and I was happy. Do not lose your head and ruin things anymore. Fine a way to solve the problem and it may turn out all right like it did for me.

Getting a job

In manga we see characters get jobs and they get there in many different ways. Some ride the train, while others may walk or ride a bike/skateboard. You have the select few who drive a car to their job. Usually when you ride a bike it is to a place that is not far, but I am currently still on a permit that means I ride a bike. My skateboard gets me so far before I decide to walk and a bike is great when you go far distances. I recently went to a job interview on a hot day and I had to ride my bike. I got there on time and luckily I bought an extra shirt. I was sweated out of the grey one I chose to wear on the ride. I might have got the job and I was told that I needed to take a pee test. I did so and did not realize that the place where I would get it at would be far. I could have gotten off and tried to walk, but I decided to keep at it. I am not going to say my bum felt any happiness towards my decision. I made it to the place and well pissed in a cup. I hope I get the job because I really do not want all that sweat to go for nothing. Plus this is for a larger plan and it is best to sometimes go one step at a time to be even a little bit happier.

Repair

You have some manga in, which the protagonist is great at fixing thing with his hand or with tools. I cannot really relate to that at all. My bike's back brake had something wrong with it and I did not know what was wrong. I went to ride and I was in the bike lane just standing there trying to figure it out. After about ten or so minutes I figured out what was wrong and fixed it. Now most bikes in the manual say not to ride when it is raining or wet outside. I did not listen and the bike skid on the road almost taking me down with it. The front part of the right handle part was bust open and that will not be fixed. I just put tape inside of it and called it a day. There was more destruction than repair done yesterday. You kind of find new things that you can do, but find yourself hurting yourself while doing it. I went out because it was raining all day and I wanted to explore some new territory. I found myself  not going far at all because my brake was out of place. There is no lesson here because sometimes you have bad days and sometimes someone may come along to brighten it. I did not get that I just finished the last of my work and went to sleep. Woke up with the driest throat and had to run for water. I guess you can call that a start to a good day.

Better plans

In manga, romantic ones to be exact it is cool to see a plan to go right. It does not always go always what you plan. Sometimes you think too much and you ruin the whole thing. You can also envision the whole experience and nothing goes as planned. I am speaking from experience, but I did this a lot until I got what I wanted. It took me not to think about anything to bring stuff to fruition. I relearned that yesterday when I rode my bike yesterday and I can barely say rode. I can now ride without stopping for a while, but my start really sucks. It takes me a while to get started and get to the point where I can pedal and not have to adjust myself. I learned that I shouldn't over think how I ride and just ride. After that I could just ride and did not have to keep stopping to ride. I learned that sometimes you should just do what you want to do and not overthink it. Now I am not saying not to think about things because that is just crazy. I am saying certain things. If you have a crush on someone and have not made a move in months, just go for it. You may fail, but at least you will not have your love unreceived or unnoticed. Better plans means to do things that you would like to do and think about it later. I learned that thinking enables you sometimes because you get lost in thought and time just moves forward. You get past that life and can never look back. You hope that you can redo what you never did. So if you feel you want to do something do it, but think of the consequences   of what you want to do first and if I does not include arrest, do it.

Pain

The hurt that the characters feel when they get punched or when a crush breaks up with them. Not really the pain I am going to talk about. I recently acquired a bike today and to everyone's surprise I am not able to ride a bike. I got it during the end of trying today, but it still needs work. My feet are sore and I feel like a hundred nails were step on in the process. I also have some hurt in an area, which I cannot disclose. When I got rejected by some girls in my school I felt the pain, but not like this. I once walked in the snow when I know I am very sensitive to the cold to fix my PSP. I do not currently have that PSP with me because it got bricked. The term bricked is when you cannot do anything with your PSP except stare at it. Am I crazy to suffer this pain for a job I may not get yes, but I need money. I need money so I can be somewhat free in this unfree society. To break away from these lonely and sad chains called staying at my dad's house because my school is in the same state. Now if I compare today's pain with the pain of being where I am, I would stay being where I am is more painful. I like being alone as much as the next person, but just getting a human contact once in a while is great. To be able to kiss someone you like once or twice if you get that far. That is stuff I am missing out on. At this point I am a NET, not NEET because I am currently in college. I do not work and I do not have any communication with the outside world with physical interaction. That pains me the most. I am a soft speaker and when I adjust my voice even a little bit higher people think that I am screaming at them. Today I stared at the worker at McDonalds like she was my type when she wasn't. I could have talked to her, but after half a year of not talking to new people it is hard to strike up a conversation. If I can strike up a conversation it would be a fake version of me and not the real me. The pain of not being able to show yourself is the hardest of them all. Not being respected for being you is even harder. So how do we get over pain, we just wait till it heals. I am talking about all pains or you can try to get over the thing that causes you pain. We can run or we can attack, but like most otakus I am weak so I do not fight people. The pain of love is know what it is or not knowing and trying to find out what it is through confrontation.

Hate

Do I really need to explain how hate is in manga? In manga a bad ending can create the worst kind of anger. We want happiness, but all we see is that head banging anger. How do we suppress these feeling that make others kill? Do we follow Hulk's advice and say angry or do we find some tranquil peace? Well, unlike most people I have a very big tell and that tell is that when I am mad I cry. Not when I am sad, but when I am angry. It is the very flaw in my somewhat masculine identity. So how do I help you when I have such a big flaw? I do not help at all. At most I can tell you to re-edit your words before you say it. Think about what you are going to say and wait a while until you are sure you want to say it. It may look like you do not have nothing to save, but you are tactical in thinking and can lead in the conversation. I learned to hold my feeling in and try to live out my life in manga, but occurring to others I should not read manga after I become an adult. I became 19 yesterday and nothing changed. I feel more hate for my father, but as would any child that knows that their father is not a father at all. He never raised a child, but he acts like he is the righteous god since I had to stay with him in college. Jobless because of my faults and his, but he never point blame at himself. The sad eyes of a clown that does not know what his job really entails. I am a college student trying to find myself in my field, but it is hard when he does not agree or care about what I do. I hate him so much I feel like a punch would do him good for all the lip he has given me. Is that term lip still with the times or could it be that I am too mentally old? Hate is a strong word, but you cannot stop emotions from being expressed. I try to express it, but it gets shut down. You can only hold it in for so long before your emotions erupt and you find yourself a berserker.

Stopping to look at the whole picture

In manga you have that character that is misunderstood, but means well and this is what I will try to explain. I found out that the reason I was failing was not just due to my mistake. When the class average is 60 something is wrong. We were told that the reason people fail is because they did not read the directions. You read the directions and half does not make sense. I realized this when we had our recent project and I could not understand anything and I failed anyway. I want to pass this class mainly because I do not want to take it again. I find it sad that because of this we the students are fail because of the directions and we can not do anything about it. I wish we could, but we can just try to get better and better even if we have to keep failing to pass. I wish I could write on this more, but I procrastinate and I find it hard to keep track of it. So, bye.

Trying to get out the hole

In anime you may see a character actually in a hole. I am not in an actual hole, but i am in a bad type of hole. I would say get out the hole and never get out, but what if you never escaped. What if you made some illusion of escaping while having success outside of the dream. I had some success, but I have fail three assignments in total recently and if I fail anymore I will fail the class. I do not want to fail it because the other failures were errors that I missed even though I overlooked the whole thing and found out it was still there once I got my grade. I hope that I do not let that happen again and pass this class. I find that looking over the assignment instructions and the assignment will help more in the long run and that is what I learned. I have been working on these assignments all week and thanks to that I have been away from writing. I am trying to make time for this, but between procrastinating and my guitar practice it is a lot of work going around. I will help anyone if I can. So, bye.

Wrong doings

In manga characters some times do something regretful and hope that it will not lead it to something wrong down the line. Some times they continue with their wrong doings with out getting caught. Human laws are that you do something against the law you should pay for that crime. Animal law is that if you get caught doing something wrong then you are hurt or killed. We forget that we are animals ourselves and that we should not be filled with pride because we can build stuff with our hands. We should never forget that we only make laws to protect our peace of mind. People break laws because they are not content with walls that contain their freedom. Do not do something if you would get mad if someone did the same thing to you. So, bye.

Failure

It is always around, but is almost never wanted. It is always in manga because there is always some thing the protagonist fails at to feel human. I say almost never because there are times you may want to fail at something to avoid something. I recently failed an assignment because I did not fully focus on the assignments. Since there was a word count limit I removed an entire paragraph and did not know about it and I got a failing grade because of it. I have learned to proofread later on because I cannot allow it again. You try not to fail because it is the worst feeling when you are expecting to pass. You know that you cannot fix it and it just burns you inside. All you can do is do better in the future or next assignments. We can use that failure as an armor to attack the next enemy that you have to challenge. I will try to encourage you and help you. So, bye.

Go home club

If you read manga before you know what this post is about. If you do not then you should be able to figure it from the name. Go home club is basically going home after school without going to any type of club or sports team practice. If you do go home try to do something after school that is fun. Sleeping is the best thing to do, but after you get up what do you do. You can play games, go out and play some kind of sport, hang out with friends, write, draw, or anything you want. I slept a lot and I had more fun with my friends hang out because I did that and then I went to sleep. I am bored now so I am going to continue with watching and after I am going to continue with my guitar practice. Sorry for not really being on here, so bye.

Life's writers block

In manga we have the usual protagonist that draws manga and struggles doing it. I have writers block when I have not wrote a story in a long while. I hate knowing that my work is crap and giving it in because that is the best I can do at the time. I find that it is hard to do things when you are not at your best. We need to be our best at everything we do because if we don't we may lose the opportunity to do better things. We need to do better things if they are available. So lets do the best we can even if it is not possible for you at the moment because regret is the worst thing possible to feel. That is all I need to explain to you, so bye.

Relationships

In manga you have that couple that is inseparable and seem perfect for each other. That usually never happens to people. That is why people dive into manga and leave life all together. Otaku's get addicted to it and it is hard to feel like life or anything else will be better then manga. I have no relationships that made me happy, so I cannot quote you on love. I also have never loved anyone before so I also cannot teach you about love. If you want to talk to me about your love stories email me about it and I am a good listener. My friend told me that the single friends are okay at advice. Let me clarify there are usually two single friend types who tell advice. The first one is the one who hates that there friend is in a relationship and they are not. They will either give them the worse advice or they will give them advice that they will never do. The second one is the one who helps there friend out even if they want to be in a relationship at the moment. The friend's feelings first and their feelings last. I am the second type and I will explain why I am not in a relationship. I am single because I try not to go for looks, but in the end everyone usually go for looks. I will not go for someone if they do not have a good personality. Since I have not found someone I have been a single guy for a while. I am kind of tired of being single now, but I am patient and even if I got together recently with a women, I would leave them if they tried to control me or try to trap me with sex. Hit me up at thatotakunumerouno@yahoo.com and I will write whenever, so bye.

School Work

In school manga you get a feel of the stress the protagonist and everyone around him get from going to school. Recently well yesterday and today I had to read a chapter from a textbook and it took until 4 P.M. for me to finish reading it. I could of just read a few pages and started my work without reading the whole thing, but I didn't I stuck to it. I listened to a podcast and I pulled through to the end. I just got into podcast because I never really felt the need until college. Well when you don't the whole assignment and you get a bad grade, you do not understand why you got it. That is why I try to read everything so I can get the highest grade possible. That is not being a nerd it is being a good student. You do not have to like school to be a good student because I was always asleep, but I always paid attention. I find that students have different ways to to pay attention in school, which means do not think a kid is lying when they are saying they are paying attention. It will prove in the work if they did or did not. I think I move far away from the point, but I think I still got to anyone reading. Okay bye.

Followings

In anime and manga there is mostly this fan club of a girl or a guy in it. They are usually the most annoying people because they hate if the person of their fascination gets in a relationship. Does that happen in real life? Yes and no because you can get a following without your knowing. Celebrities usually have fan clubs if they are famous enough or has enough sex appeal to be recognized for admiration. Now I have normal looks so I do not care to have a following, but it seems that I have a weird following with animals and small children. That bothers me because it was the same when I was younger, so I kind of changed my look and did not try to look proper, but that is a story for another day. I think that you should not follow anyone because being yourself is the best and all that other sappy stuff. Life may be boring, but it is more boring to not to be able to do anything. So having a following sucks because you get stalked and looks, which is creepy. Well that is my thoughts on it and I do not know if anyone else thinks the other way. All of my blogs should have some anime or manga element, without actually trying to review any one of them. I kind of just want to help any otaku that need help, but since I have not got any emails, I guess no one needs help.
 thatotakunumerouno@yahoo.com

That is my email for my blog if you want to email me on stuff hit me up on there and that email is only for the people that may have read this.

Going out

We all wish to go out in the world and be something, but we know it is a lot of work and planning out leading to that. We either go to college or work at a job that has minimum wage waiting for us after high school. We either become famous for something or just barely touch the surface without crashing. We can go to college or join some form of the military our country has to offer. College is expensive so most people tend to go to the military and in some countries the military will pay for your college. I would not lead that route because it sounds like a whole lot of trouble. You would probably have to work off the tuition through you time in the military. That is a long time of barely getting paid and possibly not going into your field. I do not have enough information on the topic so I will stop here. If you just wish to go out and have fun then go to the movies or the park and try to have fun because no one wants to be bored all the time.

Help

Day whatever and I have no idea how to help the otaku community. I want to know if they need help picking a skill or what to do if their mate told them to quit manga or anime. I am here to help and I will help every otaku that is possible if they want my help. If you want my help choosing a good manga I need to know what you like because then I can help. I am a college student who is majoring in creative writing and loves to read manga. As I passes grades, I saw that there were more people around me that liked manga then before. I started riding a skateboard in 09 and I still have not learned anything trick wise. I am addicted to reading manga and I do not think of it as a bad thing. I have had my fair share of lost loves and have never loved. I over analyzed everything and that was the reason for the demise of my relationships. I am mostly a shy nervous wreck which destroys my first move. I try to fix my habits, but I learned that I was better at giving advice than doing what I know would work. I had bad times do I relate to a lot of depressed mc's in manga's and it sucks, but nothing I can do. I am rambling on and that is not good. I will be putting this on my tumbler and if anyone is out there I would love to try to help you.

Maybe romance advice

When it comes to manga Otaku's do not get enough love unless they are the main character. We are usually fat or love figurines more than any female girl, but that is half wrong. We do like manga more than people, but if people loved us then it would not be a problem. If they did not ridicule what we like then we would be in relationships, but there is a revolution happening. More people are liking manga and anime everyday, which gives us more options and now we can have similarities with those we like. We now can come out of our rooms to talk to others. Another misconception of what otaku's do, but I like the inside of a house then of outside where it is bright. That is probably just me, so just know it is still a misconception. So just try and get that last bit of courage and try to talk to some one. I am sorry if you can not keep up a conversation, but practice makes perfect.

Introduction

Now I am new here and the last thing I will do is talk about religion. If you do not know what a Otaku is then just look it up. I will explain it to you since you are lazy anyway. It is someone who loves manga so much that they can not live without it. I am not talking about the people who look at the popular page and looks at what is ranked highest and reads that manga. The reader who does not care about ranking and reads what seems interesting by the short description and picture included. Now I read that a blog should help someone, but I need help the most. I would say do not follow the look at a girl method that is followed in many manga. Most times girls do not want you to look at them or stare at them for minutes and not approach them. They want a harmless smile and a look up if they look at you again. My life consisted of looking at girls in the trains of new york and I realized when it happened to me one day that it weirded me out. There was one manga like situation that happened to me, but I really do not want to talk about that, well not now anyway.