I left my apartment about 9:30 and I promised myself that I wouldn't return until later, I guess I made that goal. I went farther and that was cool, but I didn't get the same high. I think it was because I actually brought my bag with my laptop in it. I had some extra weight, so I didn't really feel that free. I added a part to the story that I am writing and I am happy with it, but today wasn't really eventful. I came in and did laundry and I wanted to make my first blog video, but I was just drained. My legs hurt and I felt sluggish. Not the best sign of a productive day.
I think that today wasn't that great because I realized I really don't have anyone to hang out with. I can blame it on being introverted, but if I go outside and explore, it is always alone. I don't want it to be that way because I start putting limitations on myself and that isn't a good thing to do. It sucks to think that way because you aren't free at all, but chained down thinking you are free. It isn't like people are inviting me out and I am just denying their invitations, there aren't any. I am stuck here and I hate that I really can't enjoy my week off from school.
The outdoors couldn't save me and I hate having to save other people. I like helping people out, but no one thinks about me after I have done something for them. I hate being inside my head at times because I have to face reality and reality isn't a pretty thing. You see that people make excuses and don't really want to hang with you and tell you what you want to hear. There are times when I just want to disappear from the world, no I am not talking about committing suicide. I want to deactivate my social media accounts and just travel. Become open with people and actually create friendships with people that want an adventure, but sometimes those people are close by and you can never meet them because of the people close to you.
No comments:
Post a Comment