Emotions

The feelings that I got from life were something that I used to explain to people, but now I am just full of logic. You can die and reborn into something that is not something you used to be. A monster, beast, or something greater. Now I am not saying that I died or anything of the like, but since I left my dad's house it is getting harder and harder to tell if I actually feel anything. It is not about caring about the pointless things, it is about everything. I am a blank whiteboard without any permanent markers to leave things up for a long time. Those things my emotions just get erased after I write them down and I do not feel the need to wonder if I should care that it was erased. All the weakness and gains I used to have are gone. I killed a bug in the shower yesterday. Now that would probable not strike anybody as odd, but a year ago I would have got out the shower and left the bug to do its' business, but I killed it and did not flinch. I guess the person that never really molded me into something tried to shape me and happened to take apart the things that made me something human. Now I feel I can never truly be that person anymore.

School

It is weird that in this world that we have to find ourselves through a system that is flawed. It is flawed because we learn things that are not really going to help us in the long run. For me I hated english comp, but I know that it would be needed for my future. Then we have algebra truthfully I have not used algebra since I came out of high school. I have used basic math, but not algebra. I found that life is not as pointless college wise. I only say that because of the friends I made here and the connections. I like the connections, but I do not know if a lifetime of debt is really worth it. I could have taken a year off traveled the world and would have probably got way more experiences and did not have to be reminded of how I would need to pay off a large sum of money at the end. We then have the people who graduate and cannot find jobs when they really need them. They never go into the field that they need to go into. I would love to say that will not be me, but if my F.A. does not go through I will probably get kicked out and I only have a month or two to live off of. If I get kicked out I will probably take whatever I have in my bank account and travel. It is not a great idea, but I have no idea what I would do if I get kicked out. I do not like the idea of becoming homeless or returning home so what can I do, but travel or go to the military. Since I hate the idea of cutting my hair traveling seems like the best idea for me.

Comics

A comic/manga could have a great story, but once it is shown that someone mainly a heroine is wearing misleading clothes. It is a smut or it changes into something that just puts more thoughts into fan service than plot. Life sucks dude.

Left

I looked at my post about leaving for a week and I see that I came back way later. As an otaku I am sorry that took later than what I posted. So I will give you a post about my intellectual thoughts now.

Looking at life i see my friends talk about injustice and I do not now if I truly care. I want to care, but I can't. I may be a sociopath, but I do not think that I am the only one. If I care what does that change. Does it make me any better of a human. I help people most of the time, not because of some moral compass, but because I can and I am there. I listen to others to learn exactly what makes them feel what they feel. I have no idea about this life that we live because it truthfully does not matter to me. I am bored all the time and I say it like an annoyed preteen. What is funny is that I want to know what love is. That is my one true vice because it seems like the most gut wrenching, but wanted emotion. My friends say that it I am always bored because I am. I could be doing the most exciting thing in the world and I would be totally bored. Life is meant for the living and not for the dead. The dead are the ones here to caused destruction. As one of the dead living in society I want to be able to enjoy the pleasures of this sick and venomous life. I want to be someone who can be destruction, but is know as a healer. That is the mind of one who roots for the villian.

Fast lanes

We go on in our lives believing that we should be right by our parents and do what they want us to do. Stripping away any part of imagination that makes us special. We should just keep ourselves weird, creepy and as nice as we want to be.

Ranting

The brown person in society isn’t the African American or whatever you want to call them. Black people are called black, but you would wonder why they are not called brown. Is it because the skin of a black person can actually become black? That is something that is not just limited to black people if that is the case. Middle eastern people are mostly or actually regularly called brown people. It makes no sense why getting into a group involves your skin color. Then again it is not like anyone is going to call his or her white friend Caucasian. The world was messed up way before my time. Then again I am as racist as the rest of the masses. I cannot stand the idea of dating girls of my own race and I love women of other races. This mind of mine is forever unstable to the point I find nothing wrong with being friends with the other sex. That people see being friends with a girl is basically you flirting with her for the sake of sex. This applies to everyone because being friends with anyone means that you may want to have sex with them. I kind of have no idea how this became me ranting about other stuff about race, but then again I am not one to talk about race or politics.