In high school my friend took all of the girls and I was basically his back seat passenger in the whole affair. He was and still is an asshole, but he is my evil pile of poo. You kind of stick by your friends even though they go against everything you stand for, when you don't have many friends in the first place. I do now, but that was the first time I was kind of tossed aside, like the average looking person that I am.
So, my friend is a singer, actor, musician, and has pretty eyes. Remember this a completely different person entirely. He is nice and he is single, so you can tell that he is completely different. He is a nice person and he doesn't want to bang every girl that offers themselves up to him. Trust me it is a lot of girls and I basically feel like the gay best friend that lets all the girls down by talking to them. There was a girl that I met at a party and I believed I had a chance, but she stopped talking to me and I realized why. My flirt game is always on point, so it is not that, but something else that I can't control. It is this pretty boy that swoons every girl that looks at him and it makes me sad.
What can I do, nothing at all because you can't change someone that likes looks more than personality. You want to be able to win someone with your personality, but people usually want something that is pretty and shiny, rather than something that is interesting and has a great story. He is a great guy, but I also want to be able to be someone that is a person of interest to another human. If you are in the anime community, then you know what "plot" is. If someone that watches anime talks about plot then they are usually not talking about the actual plot, but the size of boobs.
I will continue to put myself out there, but I will never settle because I am lonely because at this point I have gone five years without any type of relationship.
Thursday, April 28, 2016
Tuesday, April 26, 2016
Irritating moment when you know you smell and you can't do anything about it
I saw one of my shirts lying in a pile and I was in a rush, so I just picked it up and put it on. Nothing was wrong with it, until I skated to school and sat down in class. I sit next to someone and I kept smelling something bad. I smelled my shirt this morning, but nothing was wrong with it, so I smelled my jacket and it was the same. The whole day I believed it was my pants because I wore these pants the day I went to volunteer. I felt so concerned with my smell that I wanted to leave and disappear.
I left and went back to my apartment and found myself in a bad situation because I had to leave or I wouldn't get any work down. I changed my pants and thought everything was alright, but that was a lie. The smell was back and I didn't know what it could be, my jacket was on my waist, so it wasn't that. Then it dawned on me that it had to be the shirt, the one thing I couldn't change. There are a number of reasons that the shirt could smell, living in a bug infested apartment, probably not a washed shirt, too broke to wash clothes. I would root for the first option because it would basically explain a lot.
I am going to write tomorrow and try to get farther than I got today, which was nowhere. I feel terrible, but tonight I am going to get more than six hours of sleep, so yeah. I will finish one more episode of Soul Eater, then I am skating back, taking off my clothes, checking for bugs, and going to sleep. I really wish I was joking about the checking for bugs part, I need a new place to live and money.
I left and went back to my apartment and found myself in a bad situation because I had to leave or I wouldn't get any work down. I changed my pants and thought everything was alright, but that was a lie. The smell was back and I didn't know what it could be, my jacket was on my waist, so it wasn't that. Then it dawned on me that it had to be the shirt, the one thing I couldn't change. There are a number of reasons that the shirt could smell, living in a bug infested apartment, probably not a washed shirt, too broke to wash clothes. I would root for the first option because it would basically explain a lot.
I am going to write tomorrow and try to get farther than I got today, which was nowhere. I feel terrible, but tonight I am going to get more than six hours of sleep, so yeah. I will finish one more episode of Soul Eater, then I am skating back, taking off my clothes, checking for bugs, and going to sleep. I really wish I was joking about the checking for bugs part, I need a new place to live and money.
Monday, April 25, 2016
Was swamped with school work and rehearsals
I want to apologize, but I hate when I make a quick and sucky post when I barely have time to write out anything. Last night I had about ten to fifteen minutes that I could have used to write out some garbage message, but I decided against it. It bothers me when I can't make work that I am proud of, so if I don't have more than an hour to make and edit a post I will not put one up. It is not fair to you or me.
In other news I published a book, well I published an e-book for class and that was why I was stressing all week. I was cutting it way to close for comfort, but I made it out alive. I made the price up to the reader because it is something I published for class, but I still want to make money from it. I will put the link below the last paragraph.
I had rehearsals most of the week and it sucked, I got yelled at by my mother because I wasted money on food, which I usually don't, but this month I was always out so it was hard not to eat. It sucks when you don't usually have a life, but now you do and you have no idea what to do with yourself. Usually I would have finished my work early because I have all this extra time, but my extra time was spent editing works and trying to make my life a little bit better.
I now understand why people go to parties when they have work in the afternoon. You need a distraction from your everyday life in order to stay alive. I put in so many hours into this project and I know that I will get a nameless title if I am credited. Truthfully I don't even know if I want to have my name on it because all I did was help out. The writers didn't write anything because there wasn't anything to write and that made me angry. I could have stayed in my apartment and saved money, but I went out and had to stress eat.
If I get some money from my mother by the end of the month, I am hoping to get a job from the school. I sent in a few emails for work study and if I get at least one I will be happy. I understand that my mother knows that no one wants a blonde haired black guy, but I just want to do industry level jobs, at least writing jobs. I want to focus on my craft and improve it so that I am always working on it.
Once I use the bathroom and cook myself some food I will go to my school and try to write a song for some singer friends of mine. On another, I haven't played a game in a week and I am not mad about it.
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/632187
In other news I published a book, well I published an e-book for class and that was why I was stressing all week. I was cutting it way to close for comfort, but I made it out alive. I made the price up to the reader because it is something I published for class, but I still want to make money from it. I will put the link below the last paragraph.
I had rehearsals most of the week and it sucked, I got yelled at by my mother because I wasted money on food, which I usually don't, but this month I was always out so it was hard not to eat. It sucks when you don't usually have a life, but now you do and you have no idea what to do with yourself. Usually I would have finished my work early because I have all this extra time, but my extra time was spent editing works and trying to make my life a little bit better.
I now understand why people go to parties when they have work in the afternoon. You need a distraction from your everyday life in order to stay alive. I put in so many hours into this project and I know that I will get a nameless title if I am credited. Truthfully I don't even know if I want to have my name on it because all I did was help out. The writers didn't write anything because there wasn't anything to write and that made me angry. I could have stayed in my apartment and saved money, but I went out and had to stress eat.
If I get some money from my mother by the end of the month, I am hoping to get a job from the school. I sent in a few emails for work study and if I get at least one I will be happy. I understand that my mother knows that no one wants a blonde haired black guy, but I just want to do industry level jobs, at least writing jobs. I want to focus on my craft and improve it so that I am always working on it.
Once I use the bathroom and cook myself some food I will go to my school and try to write a song for some singer friends of mine. On another, I haven't played a game in a week and I am not mad about it.
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/632187
Saturday, April 23, 2016
I may kill someone in a few minutes
I am staying at the school until I finish my work or 1 am and I am near these guys playing music. I hate them because I can't focus with them being so random. I smell like sweat and outside and that is how it will stay until I go back to my apartment. I want to sleep, but that is something I can't do. I thought about not making this post, but I decided to do it. I still have to do the video and everything else for class.
I have never been this late on an assignment and that is why I am ending it now. I need the extra time to finish this.
I have never been this late on an assignment and that is why I am ending it now. I need the extra time to finish this.
Friday, April 22, 2016
The complicated matters of liking the same girl
It is hard when you meet that one girl that is so cute that you don't want to defile her with a one-night stand. You actually want to date her and spend all of your free time with her. That gets complicated when you are not the only one that likes her.
I went to a meet and greet for an event and my friends went along with me. We mingled with a few people, but we were new to the event and didn't know what to do. There were three of us and it became two as the night went on because one of us decided to talk to everybody. I saw two girls that stood alone on a pole near the bar and I decided that we should go up and talk to them. If I was by myself, then I would have probably left by then.
We talked to them for most of the night and they had these faces that said innocent, but only one of them was. It was the girl that my friend and I fell for. She was so cute that it was funny. We hung out with these girls for the remainder of the night, but it was weird. It was weird that we both liked this girl.
My friend made sure to give attention to them equally, while I gave two different emotions to the girls. The one girl that we liked, I gave her affection when I was flirting, but the other girl I was friendly and actually listened to what she said. The sad thing is that I don't really know who has a chance.
She looked at both of us equally and it made it hard to tell who she was into, if she was in to any of us at all. I made sure to make a group chat when I got back to the apartment, so we can make plans for the next day. I have to be the first one to make the move or I risk not getting to know her.
I went to a meet and greet for an event and my friends went along with me. We mingled with a few people, but we were new to the event and didn't know what to do. There were three of us and it became two as the night went on because one of us decided to talk to everybody. I saw two girls that stood alone on a pole near the bar and I decided that we should go up and talk to them. If I was by myself, then I would have probably left by then.
We talked to them for most of the night and they had these faces that said innocent, but only one of them was. It was the girl that my friend and I fell for. She was so cute that it was funny. We hung out with these girls for the remainder of the night, but it was weird. It was weird that we both liked this girl.
My friend made sure to give attention to them equally, while I gave two different emotions to the girls. The one girl that we liked, I gave her affection when I was flirting, but the other girl I was friendly and actually listened to what she said. The sad thing is that I don't really know who has a chance.
She looked at both of us equally and it made it hard to tell who she was into, if she was in to any of us at all. I made sure to make a group chat when I got back to the apartment, so we can make plans for the next day. I have to be the first one to make the move or I risk not getting to know her.
Thursday, April 21, 2016
Hate among the known
I have my problems, but my biggest problem is with my mother and her sneaky friends. My thing is that I should be able to do whatever I want with my hair, but then again when you have the mentality that black people can only have certain colors in their hair, you have a problem. I got out of class not that long ago and she basically hit me with a bunch of shit telling me that I cannot get a job with blonde hair. That if she was rich and I didn't have to work a day in my life then I could do it, but not now. I should cut it off and restart the whole process, but I don't care.
I have spent most of my life putting my self in a shell and now I am free, but people don't see that. They see that a black kid dyed their hair and that they must be crazy for doing that. I am as sane, never mind, but I can do what I want to do at this point. I don't do drugs at all, but they see a kid with blonde hair and they want to judge me. I want to go on Facebook and tell whoever told my mother about my photo that I did it because I wanted to. I didn't do it anyone else, so they can leave keep their opinion about me.
I am a little mad and I hate the negativity in my life, so I will just finish this post and try to forget all about today.
I have spent most of my life putting my self in a shell and now I am free, but people don't see that. They see that a black kid dyed their hair and that they must be crazy for doing that. I am as sane, never mind, but I can do what I want to do at this point. I don't do drugs at all, but they see a kid with blonde hair and they want to judge me. I want to go on Facebook and tell whoever told my mother about my photo that I did it because I wanted to. I didn't do it anyone else, so they can leave keep their opinion about me.
I am a little mad and I hate the negativity in my life, so I will just finish this post and try to forget all about today.
Wednesday, April 20, 2016
Messed up moment when you
It was all a lie, kinda. There isn't any electricity in my apartment because my other roommate didn't pay it, so that sucks. I was going to make a part 2 because of the time, but i decide just to edit and remake this post. I dyed my friend's hair today and it took us about 6 hours to finish it. It was so much work, but I don't regret it. I was asked by a woman on what I do to my hair because her son wants to get a blondish color, but can't. I helped her out and gave her all the tips that I could.
The next post will be in the afternoon because I didn't think that my electricity would be turned off. Tomorrow will be better, I am sorry I disappointed you and when am I going to do this video.
The next post will be in the afternoon because I didn't think that my electricity would be turned off. Tomorrow will be better, I am sorry I disappointed you and when am I going to do this video.
Tuesday, April 19, 2016
That was a lot of views
I just refreshed the page and I saw a buttload of page views, thanks I guess. I knew that a post about my true self would get views, but I didn't think it would get 13 views. I guess telling the world that I am basically a freak is interesting. I know that I'm not suppose to call myself that, but I am and I don't take it offensively. I am weird, freakish, nervous, but awesome in my own right. Like my mother wouldn't like what I am doing now especially that I spent money tonight on food, but it was my friend's birthday and I wanted to spend it with him.
I had an emotional breakdown when I lived with my father for a while and I am happy that it happened. It brought the worst out of me, but it was the first time I decided to change myself. I dyed my hair for the first time and when ever I dye my hair it is basically a change. I thought I was doing it because I could, but I don't want to dye it now because I am truly happy. There are a lot of things that could change, but I am happy that I am around people that make me feel good about myself.
I got a kind of bad comment in one of my videos and I battled it with positivity because I don't feel the need to give into that person's needs. I am someone that is about to graduate and I have a plan to go back to school after I graduate. I want to get a masters in creative writing, so I can feel like I can do anything. I will be about 22 or 23 when I graduate, but I will have met so many people in such a short amount of time. I love these people because they are there for me and I am there for them. We are always told that home is the best place to go, but it isn't if that place is poisonous.
People always want to go to New York, but don't know that people have to grow tough skin to survive there. You have to be able to take any insult and find a situation that is best to get payback. Like I would love to show you the stream where I am truly enjoying myself and I will. I could talk a lot, but I think that a truly happy Desmond is what you really want.
https://www.twitch.tv/tinywaves/v/61103171
Weirdly enough I am going to an event on Thursday, which has to do with something I did during Spring Break. Going to tease with that little bit of information.
I had an emotional breakdown when I lived with my father for a while and I am happy that it happened. It brought the worst out of me, but it was the first time I decided to change myself. I dyed my hair for the first time and when ever I dye my hair it is basically a change. I thought I was doing it because I could, but I don't want to dye it now because I am truly happy. There are a lot of things that could change, but I am happy that I am around people that make me feel good about myself.
I got a kind of bad comment in one of my videos and I battled it with positivity because I don't feel the need to give into that person's needs. I am someone that is about to graduate and I have a plan to go back to school after I graduate. I want to get a masters in creative writing, so I can feel like I can do anything. I will be about 22 or 23 when I graduate, but I will have met so many people in such a short amount of time. I love these people because they are there for me and I am there for them. We are always told that home is the best place to go, but it isn't if that place is poisonous.
People always want to go to New York, but don't know that people have to grow tough skin to survive there. You have to be able to take any insult and find a situation that is best to get payback. Like I would love to show you the stream where I am truly enjoying myself and I will. I could talk a lot, but I think that a truly happy Desmond is what you really want.
https://www.twitch.tv/tinywaves/v/61103171
Weirdly enough I am going to an event on Thursday, which has to do with something I did during Spring Break. Going to tease with that little bit of information.
Monday, April 18, 2016
The door that should never be opened will be cracked open for air
Before I get to the dark and depressing stuff I believe I should tell you what lead to this confession. I was told by one of my roommates that he was going to move out if his lease was up and so he left the apartment to check. I immediately looked up plane tickets back to New York because I hated when I got to the point of no return. I have enough, probably a little less by now for next month's rent. I am trying my best to write this book, but I know that it won't be enough to cover every month of rent until I graduate. So I hit up my mother and asked her if I could move back home, but my roommate came back and said that his lease wasn't up until august. I still wanted to leave, but I decided to just try to get a loan to cover me until I graduate. I have to wait until they email me back my username, but this is what lead me to showing you part of my true self.
I am a fake, someone that wears a mask, but not never the same one. I was a kid brought up on negativity and hate, hate towards my father, but was brought onto me by my brothers. It was probably during that time that I put on my first mask, my imperfect, but beautiful mask. It is easy to fake a persona when you have done it for so long, but it is hard at the same time. You want someone to break that mask for you and all the mask in your collection, but you know that will cripple you. You would be lost and wouldn't find your place in society. I realized that the person at the rave that I didn't recognize was really my true self. It has been so long that I couldn't recognize him. The Desmond now masturbates just to hurt and not feel anything at all, to be like everyone else. It is better than cutting myself
There are times that I want to be real, but I don't know what that looks like. The Desmond at the rave truly enjoyed his self, but I can only get that when I go to raves. I want to travel and see different people and go to raves across the world. At this point I will probably be homeless before I get to see that person again, but let us talk about something else besides money.
I met people at the rave and added them on my Facebook, so what do I do if they want to to hang out with me. I can't just fake emotions that I know nothing about because they would recognize that I wasn't the same person and they wouldn't like me. I understand that being tough is great when people are trying to tear you down, but why are you tough if there are people in your life that want to fix you right back up. I have all these scars that I get when I fall and it proves that I am real, that I can get hurt and not just take it. I have to wait for it to heal and feel the pain, I can't just ignore it entirely.
I guess I need a loving hug and to meet people that want to travel with me. Help me break down the barriers in my heart and show me that it is worth living. This isn't a cry from someone contemplating suicide, but a cry from someone that won't commit suicide because I don't want anyone to say that they say it coming.
Sunday, April 17, 2016
Feeling at home with the freaks in the night
I switched to an extrovert halfway through the rave and I was cool with it. I didn't know if it was the smell of alcohol or the scented smoke being blown out to mess with our vision, but I felt good. I guess it was because I was with people that just didn't care how they looked when they danced. The night took them to a place where they could feel comfortable. It was the same for me, but my body didn't like that I was happy. My stomach started hurting and I got nervous gas, I was doing something I always feared doing. I was interacting with complete strangers.
I gave people high fives and I actually talked to people. I was dancing and I didn't have a care in the world. I believe I got a little tipsy from the beer fumes because I did something I haven't done ever. I started hugging people and I felt disgusted with myself the next day. I was too clingy and personal with people I just met. The last time I tried that I was told off and I don't even remember why I did it that time. The music was awesome and I loved being with cool people. The rave ended at 2, but I didn't get into my apartment until 6.
There were people that loitered outside of the place and just hung out. After a while we decided to just hang out at someone's place and get drunk, sorry mommy. After waiting for the drunk people to get to the house we went inside and the house was simply amazing. I only had a sip of fireball and green apple. I have a feeling that I am a fruit drink sort of guy even though I don't drink. I have a few months until I am legal to drink and I want to be able to know what a drink tastes like before my birthday.
The girl's house that we went to was really cool and there was this one room that we chilled in before we left and it was a hang out scene. It was just this really relaxing room and I found out more about the girl. She was just really chill and down to earth. Also what is with drunk people touching a black guy's head, like why. I looked at my hair when I got in and it looked so messed up.
I gave people high fives and I actually talked to people. I was dancing and I didn't have a care in the world. I believe I got a little tipsy from the beer fumes because I did something I haven't done ever. I started hugging people and I felt disgusted with myself the next day. I was too clingy and personal with people I just met. The last time I tried that I was told off and I don't even remember why I did it that time. The music was awesome and I loved being with cool people. The rave ended at 2, but I didn't get into my apartment until 6.
There were people that loitered outside of the place and just hung out. After a while we decided to just hang out at someone's place and get drunk, sorry mommy. After waiting for the drunk people to get to the house we went inside and the house was simply amazing. I only had a sip of fireball and green apple. I have a feeling that I am a fruit drink sort of guy even though I don't drink. I have a few months until I am legal to drink and I want to be able to know what a drink tastes like before my birthday.
The girl's house that we went to was really cool and there was this one room that we chilled in before we left and it was a hang out scene. It was just this really relaxing room and I found out more about the girl. She was just really chill and down to earth. Also what is with drunk people touching a black guy's head, like why. I looked at my hair when I got in and it looked so messed up.
Saturday, April 16, 2016
Was that my Tinder match?
So, I was sitting in school and there was this girl that looked familiar to me, but I didn't understand why. I have never seen her before today and I just knew that I saw her before. I delete my Tinder every few months because there are times when I believe that I have self-worth. We got matched and we talked for a while, but eventually the conversation just stopped. That is basically the story of my life, it goes great in the beginning, but shortly after it just stops. I didn't fully realize it was her until she was about to leave and I knew that I wasted an opportunity.
Okay, I went to the car wash fundraiser for the Jem project and it wasn't that bad. I helped washed cars, got my finger ripped apart by a heavy duty door, and I ate a burnt grilled cheese. I had to close the door with all my strength and one of my fingers we on the inside part of the door. It basically peeled apart my skin as it closed and I started bleeding. That woke me up!
I don't know if I said it before, but they are having the Jem event on the 30th at the school that I am attending. That school is Full Sail University, the school that makes every student beg for a job after graduation. That was a joke based on all the loans we took to attend the school. Now you know the reason I am broke and I don't have a job. Then again I don't think that I am fit for a retail or restaurant type of job. I like to write and that is why I went to this school, so all my attention is focused on writing and getting a job writing.
I started writing outlines for the story that I am writing and I am happy with how far I am getting with it. My story has changed because of the outline and I like it. I am hungry, but I will be out till 2 AM, so getting something to eat would be smarter than heading to my apartment. I am kind of hoping that I can stay over at my friend's house because I am going to be weird and I don't know if I would be able to make it into my apartment at that time.
There is this annoying guy talking to his friends on League of Legends, so I am going to go because I am tired of hearing his voice.
Okay, I went to the car wash fundraiser for the Jem project and it wasn't that bad. I helped washed cars, got my finger ripped apart by a heavy duty door, and I ate a burnt grilled cheese. I had to close the door with all my strength and one of my fingers we on the inside part of the door. It basically peeled apart my skin as it closed and I started bleeding. That woke me up!
I don't know if I said it before, but they are having the Jem event on the 30th at the school that I am attending. That school is Full Sail University, the school that makes every student beg for a job after graduation. That was a joke based on all the loans we took to attend the school. Now you know the reason I am broke and I don't have a job. Then again I don't think that I am fit for a retail or restaurant type of job. I like to write and that is why I went to this school, so all my attention is focused on writing and getting a job writing.
I started writing outlines for the story that I am writing and I am happy with how far I am getting with it. My story has changed because of the outline and I like it. I am hungry, but I will be out till 2 AM, so getting something to eat would be smarter than heading to my apartment. I am kind of hoping that I can stay over at my friend's house because I am going to be weird and I don't know if I would be able to make it into my apartment at that time.
There is this annoying guy talking to his friends on League of Legends, so I am going to go because I am tired of hearing his voice.
Friday, April 15, 2016
Basketball and soccer, why together
I spent 57 dollars just to put my documents on a usb and onto my mac, since my PC's screen is broken. I realized I could have done this myself after I dropped my PC off. I hate the fact that I am basically broke, but I guess this will get me into writing more content. I hate that I am doing stuff for free when money would help at this moment. Like I smell like a lot of sweat because I played two different sports and I have to get texts about how I should respond if I am going to the fundraiser. I am probably not going to get paid and I have to buy some treats for tomorrow. I know that I put myself into this predicament and it seems I have to get myself out of it.
On a brighter note, I played soccer and basketball today, yeah what was I thinking. I was tired after soccer, but for some reason I agreed to play basketball. I will say that I did it to strengthen friendships and manly bonds. We played a game of 21 and I lost because I just wanted to sit down and I can't shoot 3's when ever I want to. Soccer wasn't that bad, my team actually won two games and I helped I guess. I want to say I helped because I don't want to say I was dead weight.
My whole body is sore and I can't even sleep in because I have to be up early to make it to the Jem fundraising thing. The rave is tomorrow and I was so hype for it all day, but now I just don't care. I am helping people and it sucks when you can feel the attitude when they ask you for something through a text. I said this when we finished basketball and I will say it again, I need to stop doing things for free.
On a brighter note, I played soccer and basketball today, yeah what was I thinking. I was tired after soccer, but for some reason I agreed to play basketball. I will say that I did it to strengthen friendships and manly bonds. We played a game of 21 and I lost because I just wanted to sit down and I can't shoot 3's when ever I want to. Soccer wasn't that bad, my team actually won two games and I helped I guess. I want to say I helped because I don't want to say I was dead weight.
My whole body is sore and I can't even sleep in because I have to be up early to make it to the Jem fundraising thing. The rave is tomorrow and I was so hype for it all day, but now I just don't care. I am helping people and it sucks when you can feel the attitude when they ask you for something through a text. I said this when we finished basketball and I will say it again, I need to stop doing things for free.
Thursday, April 14, 2016
Tortured myself for no reason
I went to sleep at about 2:30 and I got roughly 3 or 4 hours of sleep. It didn't hit me until after I left the school and was on my way to a Jem meeting. I am so tired, but I know that my sleep will be immediate. I don't really know what is going to happen tomorrow because I am going to lend my game to a friend, but I also have to hopefully dye my friend's hair tomorrow. I have no idea what is going on, but I finished all my work, kinda.
The reason that I got so little sleep is because I woke up at 6 again so I could shower and get a ride. I didn't realize how tired I was because I forgot my belt and phone charger. It sucks when your phone is on 10%, but will live because no one hits your jack like that. Class was alright, but since I was super tired I barely remember anything. I want to say that my friend Frank presented, but I am lost on what was actually presented. I guess I will have to read the slides that the instructor assigned as homework.
I am going to have to get my PC fixed even though I don't want to spend the money, but all of my documents are on my PC. Luckily there is a repair shop nearby, but I am only doing this because I need one of my stories for this class and it would be nice to have all of my documents. I met this girl that was far away from everyone doing her work and I wanted to talk to her, but that didn't really happen until she sat in my seat. I talked somewhat, but it was my friend Matt that did all of the talking. When we were leaving I told her it was nice to meet her and I added her on Facebook.
I didn't know if she was going to add me back, but I had to try to get to know her so I added her and she accepted my friend request. Friday should be awesome hopefully, but Saturday will be an early post because I am going to a rave. Yes, I will have fun.
The reason that I got so little sleep is because I woke up at 6 again so I could shower and get a ride. I didn't realize how tired I was because I forgot my belt and phone charger. It sucks when your phone is on 10%, but will live because no one hits your jack like that. Class was alright, but since I was super tired I barely remember anything. I want to say that my friend Frank presented, but I am lost on what was actually presented. I guess I will have to read the slides that the instructor assigned as homework.
I am going to have to get my PC fixed even though I don't want to spend the money, but all of my documents are on my PC. Luckily there is a repair shop nearby, but I am only doing this because I need one of my stories for this class and it would be nice to have all of my documents. I met this girl that was far away from everyone doing her work and I wanted to talk to her, but that didn't really happen until she sat in my seat. I talked somewhat, but it was my friend Matt that did all of the talking. When we were leaving I told her it was nice to meet her and I added her on Facebook.
I didn't know if she was going to add me back, but I had to try to get to know her so I added her and she accepted my friend request. Friday should be awesome hopefully, but Saturday will be an early post because I am going to a rave. Yes, I will have fun.
Wednesday, April 13, 2016
Torturing myself for the betterment of myself
I got none of my work done today and the reason was, that I had a packed day with the exception of three hours. I spent about two hours gaming and the last parts using the bathroom and I went straight back out. I guess it would help telling you exactly what I did today wouldn't it. My day started exactly at 8:00 and like most mornings it wasn't my favorite. Mainly because I had to get up at 8 and not 9.
I made it to my photo shoot at 9:25, probably. I know I was early because I was the first one there. I have never had so many pictures taken of myself. I wasn't the only one there and the people I talked to were really cool. It was just one person in particular that got most of my attention. The reason wasn't because she was pretty, no it was because we actually had to look deeply in each others eyes for a shot. If I was in a shot with other people, she would be there soon enough. There isn't anything wrong with that at all, but why was that needed.
Have the tallest people be together because that is what people want to see. The shoot lasted till 12:30 and I got her Facebook. I skated for the photo shoot and I thought that I was done, then she put on the hat. She put on her hat and the lady in charge wanted a photo of her with her hat on. At this point we were already America's favorite couple, so we took photos together. That was the final picture and that is when we separated from each other.
I went to go eat a sub because I knew that I would be on campus all day. When I finished eating I went straight to the meeting for the Jem fan project. Yay. I went to go and see exactly what we had to do and it was basically a meeting about putting the word out there and letting people know that there is a production happening. I don't like to post on my twitter page because I never know what I should put on there and the only things that go on there are my vines. So, if you want to look them up on twitter you will search for Orlando Jem Fans. I am not going to push them down your throat because that is not what you do to people that you like.
After that I went back to the apartment, played a game, got my mask, did something gross, and went back out. The last part of my day was watching a movie called Boondock Saints. I wasn't looking at it as a new viewer, but as someone taking apart the movie. I like the movie, but there were parts that could have been different. On a brighter note I saw the other girl I usually talk to because she sat next to me during the movie. The one that barely talks to me has class now and I am a little bit happy to tell you the truth. We talked a little today and I really don't think this friendship will last between us.
I made it to my photo shoot at 9:25, probably. I know I was early because I was the first one there. I have never had so many pictures taken of myself. I wasn't the only one there and the people I talked to were really cool. It was just one person in particular that got most of my attention. The reason wasn't because she was pretty, no it was because we actually had to look deeply in each others eyes for a shot. If I was in a shot with other people, she would be there soon enough. There isn't anything wrong with that at all, but why was that needed.
Have the tallest people be together because that is what people want to see. The shoot lasted till 12:30 and I got her Facebook. I skated for the photo shoot and I thought that I was done, then she put on the hat. She put on her hat and the lady in charge wanted a photo of her with her hat on. At this point we were already America's favorite couple, so we took photos together. That was the final picture and that is when we separated from each other.
I went to go eat a sub because I knew that I would be on campus all day. When I finished eating I went straight to the meeting for the Jem fan project. Yay. I went to go and see exactly what we had to do and it was basically a meeting about putting the word out there and letting people know that there is a production happening. I don't like to post on my twitter page because I never know what I should put on there and the only things that go on there are my vines. So, if you want to look them up on twitter you will search for Orlando Jem Fans. I am not going to push them down your throat because that is not what you do to people that you like.
After that I went back to the apartment, played a game, got my mask, did something gross, and went back out. The last part of my day was watching a movie called Boondock Saints. I wasn't looking at it as a new viewer, but as someone taking apart the movie. I like the movie, but there were parts that could have been different. On a brighter note I saw the other girl I usually talk to because she sat next to me during the movie. The one that barely talks to me has class now and I am a little bit happy to tell you the truth. We talked a little today and I really don't think this friendship will last between us.
Tuesday, April 12, 2016
I got a blister on my finger because of that bass
I had class today and I was scared that I actually might have to present. I will not be presenting this week which is good, but I am kind of scared that I am not going to get any work done if I stay in this apartment. I am going to be out all day tomorrow so I can easily stay there until I finish 50 or 60 percent of my work.
So, I went to the B-reel shoot and it was different, in a good way. I had to act like I knew how to play the bass and doing so gave me a blister on my middle finger. Talk about dedication. I continued to play even though I felt the pain coming from my finger. I left after taking a bunch of chips and went back to the apartment. A friend texted me and asked if I want to go to the Jem meeting and I said okay believing I wasn't going to tomorrow's meeting. I am going because the plans that I was going to have tomorrow changed to Friday, making it, finish all your work Thursday. It sucks having a life.
We went to watch an old movie called One Million Years BC. It was interesting and cheesy and I recommend it for a good laugh, but we left early, so I could write my wonderful blog. Now I am sitting here and debating on gaming for an hour and doing work till 12 or just doing work till 12. I will probably game, cook, do work, and pick out clothes for the next shoot tomorrow. Like I said, it sucks having a life.
So, I went to the B-reel shoot and it was different, in a good way. I had to act like I knew how to play the bass and doing so gave me a blister on my middle finger. Talk about dedication. I continued to play even though I felt the pain coming from my finger. I left after taking a bunch of chips and went back to the apartment. A friend texted me and asked if I want to go to the Jem meeting and I said okay believing I wasn't going to tomorrow's meeting. I am going because the plans that I was going to have tomorrow changed to Friday, making it, finish all your work Thursday. It sucks having a life.
We went to watch an old movie called One Million Years BC. It was interesting and cheesy and I recommend it for a good laugh, but we left early, so I could write my wonderful blog. Now I am sitting here and debating on gaming for an hour and doing work till 12 or just doing work till 12. I will probably game, cook, do work, and pick out clothes for the next shoot tomorrow. Like I said, it sucks having a life.
Monday, April 11, 2016
I'm not a scrub, kind of.
I don't know if you know what a scrub is, but it is usually someone that isn't good at something. I put up a video for the week because I have a full week, which means that there will be no random topics. I know you will be sad, but I will actually have a social life this week. I put up a very chill video, but it wasn't a happy one because my roommate wanted to make a lot of noise when I was recording. I had more time to edit, so I tried to fix the lighting and I think I did a pretty good job because YouTube didn't ask me if I wanted to improve the lighting. I hate iMovie, but it comes with my computer and good video editing programs cost a lot of money.
Dark Souls 3 comes out tomorrow and I am probably not going to get it, but will. I will hear my friends talking about it and will get it anyway, but I know I will not play it because there is so much reading this month. I still haven't finished last weeks and I know it wasn't made to be finished in the first week of class. I realize that I am probably the only one actually reading the material because I was told that by everyone I've been in class with. It sucks, but I want to read. If someone bought it for me I would play Dark Souls 3 for ps4, that is for you mommy. My mother doesn't read this because if she did then I would of told you of the scolding she gave me.
Basketball was fun because I didn't hit any air balls and my body felt lighter. It could have been the shorts and basketball sneakers I was wearing compared to the jeans and show out shoes I had last week. We will just say that my body is starting to remember the game of basketball again. I could pass again and I didn't make as much mistakes as I did last week. I made a few shots and got a lot of assists. It was beautiful and I would love to continue doing this. I have a feeling that I am going to get a 5-9 class next month on Mondays since the world doesn't want me to be happy.
Only one of my legs hurt and I need to wash my hair because it feels really dirty. I don't want to take another shower, but like I said I feel really dirty. If you didn't see the link to the video before I will put it up for you again.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydZZzyNkgd4
Dark Souls 3 comes out tomorrow and I am probably not going to get it, but will. I will hear my friends talking about it and will get it anyway, but I know I will not play it because there is so much reading this month. I still haven't finished last weeks and I know it wasn't made to be finished in the first week of class. I realize that I am probably the only one actually reading the material because I was told that by everyone I've been in class with. It sucks, but I want to read. If someone bought it for me I would play Dark Souls 3 for ps4, that is for you mommy. My mother doesn't read this because if she did then I would of told you of the scolding she gave me.
Basketball was fun because I didn't hit any air balls and my body felt lighter. It could have been the shorts and basketball sneakers I was wearing compared to the jeans and show out shoes I had last week. We will just say that my body is starting to remember the game of basketball again. I could pass again and I didn't make as much mistakes as I did last week. I made a few shots and got a lot of assists. It was beautiful and I would love to continue doing this. I have a feeling that I am going to get a 5-9 class next month on Mondays since the world doesn't want me to be happy.
Only one of my legs hurt and I need to wash my hair because it feels really dirty. I don't want to take another shower, but like I said I feel really dirty. If you didn't see the link to the video before I will put it up for you again.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydZZzyNkgd4
New Video up
I made the video pretty early this week because I have a pretty stacked week and I didn't know when I would be able to get to it. It is a pretty chill video and this is not my daily post by the way. It is just a reminder that the video is up and i will also put the link in the actual post for tonight.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydZZzyNkgd4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydZZzyNkgd4
Sunday, April 10, 2016
Am I a punk?
I basically am what I call a punk and I am not talking about someone that talks and can't back it up. I don't talk trash because I am someone that practices peace and doesn't like to fight. I mean the people with dyed hair, ironic shirts, a bunch of earrings, and tattoos. I don't have a tattoo because I chose to get some new piercings instead of a tattoo last night and why wouldn't I. It was 15 for piercings, but it was a better deal for tattoos because it was 25. There was a book full of tattoos that people could have selected from and I have a feeling that they didn't even finish 5% of the book. If you didn't know already I now have 4 piercings and I have two spikes in my ear and two ball earrings. I say ball because it looks like the earrings they use for your eyebrow piercing.
I don't do drugs, instead I dye my hair whenever I feel low and I guess I am still hurting myself. I love how I am trying to heal my hair while killing it as well. It is like falling in love with someone that will never love you. My mother doesn't know I have two new piercings because I just did it and I am not going to tell her. The place had this needle and they pushed it into my ear and created a hole to put the earrings. My friend only did one piercing, but I needed my piercings to be even so I did two and they both hurt really badly. I feel like I can make a really good short story based on someone getting their ears pierced.
I believe that there will be basketball tomorrow and if there is I will go. My body just fully healed, but I don't really care. I took a nap at like 5 something and woke up at 8 and I have a feeling it is my body healing itself. I am going to cook, watch a movie, start reading parts of my assignment, and then continue writing my story. Thank you for reading my messed up mind.
I don't do drugs, instead I dye my hair whenever I feel low and I guess I am still hurting myself. I love how I am trying to heal my hair while killing it as well. It is like falling in love with someone that will never love you. My mother doesn't know I have two new piercings because I just did it and I am not going to tell her. The place had this needle and they pushed it into my ear and created a hole to put the earrings. My friend only did one piercing, but I needed my piercings to be even so I did two and they both hurt really badly. I feel like I can make a really good short story based on someone getting their ears pierced.
I believe that there will be basketball tomorrow and if there is I will go. My body just fully healed, but I don't really care. I took a nap at like 5 something and woke up at 8 and I have a feeling it is my body healing itself. I am going to cook, watch a movie, start reading parts of my assignment, and then continue writing my story. Thank you for reading my messed up mind.
Saturday, April 9, 2016
Am I here to piss you off? pt 2
I am back and it is basically the next day and I happy to present you with bad news. I am an average black kid that wants to be myself. I am happy with who I am as a person and if I go back to faking being religious I am positive you wouldn't like me. Also I'm not hurting anybody by being atheist, but people see that as a hate crime. Like I am a chill kid that accepts everyone, but that doesn't matter does it? I volunteer for every good cause event that I can, but that still isn't enough. I have to believe in god and be a christian because if you don't believe in something then you aren't worth anything.
Anyway, I went to an event that basically told us to be confident and to try to envision where you want to be. There was this woman that told the group that god should be the first thing on your list and I didn't understand that. I want to grow as a writer and I don't want what I believe in be the factor that decided if I got the job or not. Then again you can't change the world that easily. Tomorrow's post will not include politics because I hate discussing politics.
Anyway, I went to an event that basically told us to be confident and to try to envision where you want to be. There was this woman that told the group that god should be the first thing on your list and I didn't understand that. I want to grow as a writer and I don't want what I believe in be the factor that decided if I got the job or not. Then again you can't change the world that easily. Tomorrow's post will not include politics because I hate discussing politics.
Am I here to piss you off? part 1
I am not a man of faith and I know that a black guy being an atheist is something that is weird, but I am not the only one that I know. Now before you leave me, know I am not someone that judges others. Being religious just isn't for me and I respect others that believe in a god or gods. I have dyed hair, 4 pierced ears as of tonight, and I am a writer.
The reason I stopped being spiritual and went to being an atheist is because I wanted to be true to myself as a writer. I want to get into this more, but its about to be 12 and I made it my goal to post everyday. Part 2 will be tomorrow.
The reason I stopped being spiritual and went to being an atheist is because I wanted to be true to myself as a writer. I want to get into this more, but its about to be 12 and I made it my goal to post everyday. Part 2 will be tomorrow.
Friday, April 8, 2016
My roommate told me to stop acting gay and I am eating an oreo
I like to send out weird messages when I am very bored and that is what happened today. I asked him if he was alright because you know I am a caring person. After he responded I basically told him that he would always have a piece of my heart. That was when he said I was acting gay, now the punchline was after this response. I responded by say, "You should find it and when you do take a piece and throw my heart far away." Like I said I was bored and I have been reading my textbook all day, so there is nothing else to do but be bored.
My mother called me today for the sole reason of staying up behind the wheel. She didn't tell me this, but I could tell because she kept repeating that she was tired and wanted to got to bed, but she was on the road. After the call dropped a second time I had a feeling she got home and was about to go to sleep. I will text her after this to make sure of that, but for now we write.
I finally got grade for the group project I did last week and we got a 96 for the project. I did the twitter pages for the character and the instructor didn't understand why there needed to be a twitter page and I was a little hurt, but I knew he would change his mind when he got to play the whole game. He told the group that he loved that the twitter page made the story feel realistic. Now I am downgrading what he said because I don't want to quote him.
Tomorrow I go to a networking summit that could land me a job. If you want to play the game then I will have the link down below.
http://blackoutsupportgroup.wix.com/blackoutsupport
My mother called me today for the sole reason of staying up behind the wheel. She didn't tell me this, but I could tell because she kept repeating that she was tired and wanted to got to bed, but she was on the road. After the call dropped a second time I had a feeling she got home and was about to go to sleep. I will text her after this to make sure of that, but for now we write.
I finally got grade for the group project I did last week and we got a 96 for the project. I did the twitter pages for the character and the instructor didn't understand why there needed to be a twitter page and I was a little hurt, but I knew he would change his mind when he got to play the whole game. He told the group that he loved that the twitter page made the story feel realistic. Now I am downgrading what he said because I don't want to quote him.
Tomorrow I go to a networking summit that could land me a job. If you want to play the game then I will have the link down below.
http://blackoutsupportgroup.wix.com/blackoutsupport
Thursday, April 7, 2016
Aren't you one sexy devil
Something I would have loved in middle school and high school was confidence. My brothers are the most confidence people I know and they have so many flaws. The middle brother always had a lot of girlfriends and I never really understood why. I don't really care at this point because he has two awesome little kids and I am the only one without them at this point. I don't really do relationships because I am a shy little piece of shit, yeah!
It took me twenty years to find out that if no one else cares for you then you should just care for yourself. I woke up at 6:30 today in order to get a ride to school and that was great because my body still hurts. We chilled out a little at my roommate's friends house and just talked, I like doing that because most of the time it is just me talking to myself. Today after class I could have talked with some of my classmates that stayed behind, but I didn't feel good. I had to stay in school for a meeting and I felt so low being near anybody.
Anyway I love that I am growing as a person and that I am coming out of my comfort zones even a little bit. I am not going to think that it is going to take one day to get rid of all my anxiety, but I know it will get better the more I put myself out there. I haven't checked the video that I recently put up, I know the light was a problem and I hope to fix it next week. I will wear a headset next time to try and improve the audio, but I am new at this and I am happy you are along for the ride.
Just look in the mirror and just say you are beautiful because you can't love art without knowing what art is. If you don't see yourself as a piece of art then you can't really cure yourself of anything that might be wrong with you. Remember art has to be worked on until it is complete and even when it is done there are still imperfections to it, but that is what makes it beautiful in the first place.
It took me twenty years to find out that if no one else cares for you then you should just care for yourself. I woke up at 6:30 today in order to get a ride to school and that was great because my body still hurts. We chilled out a little at my roommate's friends house and just talked, I like doing that because most of the time it is just me talking to myself. Today after class I could have talked with some of my classmates that stayed behind, but I didn't feel good. I had to stay in school for a meeting and I felt so low being near anybody.
Anyway I love that I am growing as a person and that I am coming out of my comfort zones even a little bit. I am not going to think that it is going to take one day to get rid of all my anxiety, but I know it will get better the more I put myself out there. I haven't checked the video that I recently put up, I know the light was a problem and I hope to fix it next week. I will wear a headset next time to try and improve the audio, but I am new at this and I am happy you are along for the ride.
Just look in the mirror and just say you are beautiful because you can't love art without knowing what art is. If you don't see yourself as a piece of art then you can't really cure yourself of anything that might be wrong with you. Remember art has to be worked on until it is complete and even when it is done there are still imperfections to it, but that is what makes it beautiful in the first place.
Wednesday, April 6, 2016
You are never too old to have a child.
The title was going to be slightly different, but a comment on a post made me very angry. Not on my blog post because I will say that it is all love here. There is a post on Facebook that says Janet Jackson is going to have a "miracle" baby. Excuse my language, but what the fuck do you mean by a miracle baby. She is only 49, when was that too old to be having children. Let us get this straight, I am never going to have children and I don't ever want to. I don't have complications with my sperm that makes it impossible to have children, I just don't want to have children.
I am the youngest child and my oldest brother is about 30 something, so that tell you my mother probably had me in her 40s or late 30s. I am not going to tell you my mother's age because I want to live to see another day, but I know she wouldn't like what people are saying on the post. We forget that there was a time when you were an adult at the age of 13 and would probably die once you turned 20 or 30. It was rare to even touch 50, but now people are living through there 100th birthday. I am not going to be that person because with all the sprains and pains I have now I know I am going to have arthritis. The sad thing is that I am not even joking even one bit.
If someone wants to have kids in their 70s I say do it because it just gives them the will to live longer. The want to be able to see their kids have kids and to meet their grandchildren. That is something all parents want to see. I am not a parent so I am only speculating, but I hope that is what every parent wants for their child, to see them happy.
I made another video and it has more content than the last one and I hope that you like it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMcwfKlb4IY
It says that the video is processing, but I don't care because it is up and I want you guys to see it.
I am the youngest child and my oldest brother is about 30 something, so that tell you my mother probably had me in her 40s or late 30s. I am not going to tell you my mother's age because I want to live to see another day, but I know she wouldn't like what people are saying on the post. We forget that there was a time when you were an adult at the age of 13 and would probably die once you turned 20 or 30. It was rare to even touch 50, but now people are living through there 100th birthday. I am not going to be that person because with all the sprains and pains I have now I know I am going to have arthritis. The sad thing is that I am not even joking even one bit.
If someone wants to have kids in their 70s I say do it because it just gives them the will to live longer. The want to be able to see their kids have kids and to meet their grandchildren. That is something all parents want to see. I am not a parent so I am only speculating, but I hope that is what every parent wants for their child, to see them happy.
I made another video and it has more content than the last one and I hope that you like it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMcwfKlb4IY
It says that the video is processing, but I don't care because it is up and I want you guys to see it.
Tuesday, April 5, 2016
I woke up feeling the weight of my burdens.
That sounds the introduction to a Shakespeare novel, script was it a script or a book. I am really in pain, like really in pain. Like I said I played basketball last night and I woke up in a lot of pain. It pains me to say that I woke up early to skate to school. I hate myself for that one too. Every kick felt like a shock to my whole body and it wasn't so bad.
This wasn't the first time that my body felt this heavy, it was my junior year in high school. I was a pissed off teen angry at the world and I was on the baseball team. I had to lift a whole lot of weights to keep in shape and after a few weeks of torture to the system, I got use to it. I guess after a few weeks of killing myself I will be able to play basketball without feeling like death. I am now confined to the couch and had a whole I can't get up moment. It was pathetic and I regret the whole scene because it is replaying in my head at this moment.
My mustache hair is growing back and I am weirded out because my facial hair usually takes weeks to grow back, but it has only been a few day. Now I am watching Happy Endings and hoping that I can actually move my body without wanting to screaming. I talked to some girl today that said hi to me out of the blue. Usually I am skating and ignoring my surrounds, but because of yesterday I felt that it was better to just walk if I didn't have to skate. We had a very long and fun conversation, it was kind of weird. She is just a friendly person and greeted everyone that passed by her. It was nice to meet someone that is the polar opposite of myself.
It would disgust me if I was that person, but she is a great person and I am an awesome person for making a new friend that I can contact.
This wasn't the first time that my body felt this heavy, it was my junior year in high school. I was a pissed off teen angry at the world and I was on the baseball team. I had to lift a whole lot of weights to keep in shape and after a few weeks of torture to the system, I got use to it. I guess after a few weeks of killing myself I will be able to play basketball without feeling like death. I am now confined to the couch and had a whole I can't get up moment. It was pathetic and I regret the whole scene because it is replaying in my head at this moment.
My mustache hair is growing back and I am weirded out because my facial hair usually takes weeks to grow back, but it has only been a few day. Now I am watching Happy Endings and hoping that I can actually move my body without wanting to screaming. I talked to some girl today that said hi to me out of the blue. Usually I am skating and ignoring my surrounds, but because of yesterday I felt that it was better to just walk if I didn't have to skate. We had a very long and fun conversation, it was kind of weird. She is just a friendly person and greeted everyone that passed by her. It was nice to meet someone that is the polar opposite of myself.
It would disgust me if I was that person, but she is a great person and I am an awesome person for making a new friend that I can contact.
Monday, April 4, 2016
I am writing this on the steps outside of my apartment
When you have lived without a key to your apartment you kind of get used to it. The door is usually unlocked because someone is guaranteed to be inside. My topic for tonight was going to be about how I played about 4 games of basketball back to back. I barely get to exercise and play sports, but today I decided to do it. I played so much that my feet regrets every step that we made on that court. It was a nice change of pace and it felt good. I met some cool people on the court and we all had fun.
Now let us talk about the roommate that I barely talk to and the one that usually locks the door when he gets in. Now I understand that locking the door when you get in is something you do, but if one of your roommates doesn't have a key then you wait till they get home to lock it. I would skate back to the school and wait till my other roommate was ready to leave, but like I said my feet are killing me. I could barely skate back without falling on my face.
It doesn't help that I have class in the morning, which means I have to wake up extra early to see where the classroom is. I won't be here for long though because my reliable roommate is coming from school to unlock the door. Today was suppose to be a good day, I was going to tell you that I saw that girl today and we had an awkward greeting. We just waved and I walked away after one wave and when I crossed her path again I didn't look in her direction. Good job Desmond. I did two play test today so I got a $20 gift card instead of a $10 one. I wrote a lot of content for my story and I played basketball with some new people. This is all material that could have been used for a positive energy post, but my other roommate had to mess it up.
I am going to shower when I get in and go straight to sleep because I am too tired to even try to fake being happy right now. I am inside now, so time to upload and be done for the night.
Now let us talk about the roommate that I barely talk to and the one that usually locks the door when he gets in. Now I understand that locking the door when you get in is something you do, but if one of your roommates doesn't have a key then you wait till they get home to lock it. I would skate back to the school and wait till my other roommate was ready to leave, but like I said my feet are killing me. I could barely skate back without falling on my face.
It doesn't help that I have class in the morning, which means I have to wake up extra early to see where the classroom is. I won't be here for long though because my reliable roommate is coming from school to unlock the door. Today was suppose to be a good day, I was going to tell you that I saw that girl today and we had an awkward greeting. We just waved and I walked away after one wave and when I crossed her path again I didn't look in her direction. Good job Desmond. I did two play test today so I got a $20 gift card instead of a $10 one. I wrote a lot of content for my story and I played basketball with some new people. This is all material that could have been used for a positive energy post, but my other roommate had to mess it up.
I am going to shower when I get in and go straight to sleep because I am too tired to even try to fake being happy right now. I am inside now, so time to upload and be done for the night.
Sunday, April 3, 2016
I believe it is recap time
This Spring Break I was suppose to hang out with this girl at least once and we didn't hang out. I don't really want to talk to her anymore truthfully, but I will have to so yeah. I went out, got lost, and didn't find myself. I tried to do the same thing a day later, but since I had weight on my back it wasn't the same. I knew about the location so I wasn't lost, I knew my way back and that was my mistake. I saw some very interesting things and realized that I am cool with myself. To top things I even went to a tops and bottoms auction. Now I will rule this Spring Break as a success. I felt like crap this whole Spring Break because I realized that I could use some help socially and no one helps me with that, but myself. I broke the first wall of my anxiety and I feel great about it.
Oh yeah I created a twitter page for my favorite gay character Wallace Wells. Thanks my friend for calling me Wallace Wells even though I'm not gay. I don't really feel like I did anything this Spring Break except thing and I don't know how I feel about that. I wanted to do more, but like always I was trapped in the surround area that I am always around. Life can be explored without a car, but it helps to have a car.
I also made my the first video for the blog and I am happy I did it because now I have the strength to make one once a week. I am just afraid of what an 18 year old Desmond said in 2014. It is basically cringe worthy, but I will do it and try to remember what I was thinking for that post. I don't have class tomorrow, but I do have game testing at 10 and I am happy about it. I am happy because I have a reason to be at the school tomorrow and work on some of my writing. That is the best part of the whole thing. Class officially starts Tuesday and I still haven't received my final grade, but I am not stressing because I know I am good. Trying to be a positive emo even though that makes no sense. Happy to talk to you awesome people again.
Oh yeah I created a twitter page for my favorite gay character Wallace Wells. Thanks my friend for calling me Wallace Wells even though I'm not gay. I don't really feel like I did anything this Spring Break except thing and I don't know how I feel about that. I wanted to do more, but like always I was trapped in the surround area that I am always around. Life can be explored without a car, but it helps to have a car.
I also made my the first video for the blog and I am happy I did it because now I have the strength to make one once a week. I am just afraid of what an 18 year old Desmond said in 2014. It is basically cringe worthy, but I will do it and try to remember what I was thinking for that post. I don't have class tomorrow, but I do have game testing at 10 and I am happy about it. I am happy because I have a reason to be at the school tomorrow and work on some of my writing. That is the best part of the whole thing. Class officially starts Tuesday and I still haven't received my final grade, but I am not stressing because I know I am good. Trying to be a positive emo even though that makes no sense. Happy to talk to you awesome people again.
Saturday, April 2, 2016
Riding around with a big wad of cash?
When I make a post I either will tell you something that I personally experienced or something I have thoughts on. There are times when you can't even make things up because it is too unbelievable. My roommate and I are walking back from the store when we see this guy on a thing that shouldn't be called a hoverboard. He had a large sum of money rolled up in his hands and I have never wanted to steal from someone before that moment. It wasn't because I was broke, no, it was because he had it out in the open and was playing with it. Why would you play with a large amount of money, in the open.
You wouldn't do that in New York because someone would either rob you their self or call up some one and get them to rob you. I want to believe that he was a cop or was filming some kind of skit where they see who wants to steal the money. He didn't seem like he needed the money, but I wasn't going to steal it, because we were near a busy street. Wouldn't be smart to steal a block away from your apartment complex. Sometimes people weird me out and I don't really understand why they do things.
On that note I shaved my face and now I don't have a mustache. It always feels weird and I can't wait for it to grow back. I hope everyone enjoyed my first video if you watched it. The next video will be post next week and I will put the link in the blog post for that day. Don't go outside with money in your hands because it is highly likely that you will get robbed.
You wouldn't do that in New York because someone would either rob you their self or call up some one and get them to rob you. I want to believe that he was a cop or was filming some kind of skit where they see who wants to steal the money. He didn't seem like he needed the money, but I wasn't going to steal it, because we were near a busy street. Wouldn't be smart to steal a block away from your apartment complex. Sometimes people weird me out and I don't really understand why they do things.
On that note I shaved my face and now I don't have a mustache. It always feels weird and I can't wait for it to grow back. I hope everyone enjoyed my first video if you watched it. The next video will be post next week and I will put the link in the blog post for that day. Don't go outside with money in your hands because it is highly likely that you will get robbed.
Friday, April 1, 2016
The first part of the vlog is up.
I wasn't going to make a video for it today because my roommate was going to stay in the apartment all day, but his plans changed. He left to go have fun and eat good food, while I am stuck eating snacks and boiling water to drink for tomorrow. When he left I decided it would be perfect to shoot the introduction video. I didn't really know if I should have made a new account strictly for the blog or kept it on my current YouTube account, so I used my current YouTube account.
It is just an introduction video and since I did it this week, that means that there will be another video next week. I will try to make the videos higher quality as I go along, but for now it is all right. This is the main theme for today, so it is pretty short. Tomorrow is a recap of my Spring Break and if I believe if it was fun or not. I believe that you probably know the answer to that, but today was a pretty calm day. I hope you enjoy the video and I enjoy talking to you everyday.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vb4DOIBU68Q
It is just an introduction video and since I did it this week, that means that there will be another video next week. I will try to make the videos higher quality as I go along, but for now it is all right. This is the main theme for today, so it is pretty short. Tomorrow is a recap of my Spring Break and if I believe if it was fun or not. I believe that you probably know the answer to that, but today was a pretty calm day. I hope you enjoy the video and I enjoy talking to you everyday.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vb4DOIBU68Q
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